She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
