listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
