Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
