How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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