I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
bring money and cleavage
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize