Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
