I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
