It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
