You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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