walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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