This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
