I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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