she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
