You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
