It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
this boner is exhausting
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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