I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
