Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
where are you?
Hypothermia
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
