Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
