They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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