I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
