She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
