roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
