Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize