I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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