last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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