she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
