What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
my poor anus
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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