You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
