i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Terrible idea I love it
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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