I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
FUCK WHALES
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
