well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
