Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
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