Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
