I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
