Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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