I wanna bring you to show and tell
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
