This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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