a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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