Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
