He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
