Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Randomize
