just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Randomize
