You work out of a Hotel?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize