If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize