i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We have started to decorate penises.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
