Non-Jews are for practice
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
