I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
