if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
