My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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