i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
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