There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
