Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
