i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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