also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
