So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
