I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
