Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
