Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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