He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
