weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
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