I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
