can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i think my mom watched the whole time
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
