I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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