69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
