the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
