I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
