so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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