i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
