i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Randomize
