Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
